What if the way you experience your life is influenced not only by what happens to you, but also by what you believe about yourself?

In a memorable interview with Tavis Smiley, Louise Hay explores one of the central ideas behind her philosophy: that changing the way we think can change the way we experience our lives.

The conversation moves through some surprisingly difficult territory—fear, forgiveness, self-worth, discrimination, poverty, war, and the deeply rooted beliefs we carry about ourselves.

Hay does not present her message as a way of pretending that problems do not exist. Instead, she argues that even when we cannot immediately change our circumstances, we can begin by examining the thoughts and beliefs we bring to those circumstances.

What Do You Believe About Yourself?

One of the most striking questions in the conversation is simple:

“What is it you believe about yourself that’s not uplifting?”

It is a question worth sitting with.

We often become so accustomed to our own internal dialogue that we stop noticing it. I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy. Nothing ever works for me. I can’t change. I don’t deserve better.

Hay suggests that these beliefs can become deeply influential—not simply because we repeat them, but because they affect how we see ourselves, how we respond to circumstances, and what possibilities we are willing to recognize.

For Hay, changing the mind begins with becoming aware of what we have been telling ourselves.

Forgiveness Is About Releasing Yourself

The conversation then turns to forgiveness.

Hay makes an important distinction: forgiveness does not mean approving of harmful behavior or pretending that something painful never happened.

Instead, she describes forgiveness as a way of releasing ourselves from the hold that another person’s actions can continue to have over us.

This is particularly relevant when resentment becomes a recurring thought pattern. We may believe we are holding on because someone else deserves to be remembered or blamed, but the emotional burden ultimately remains with us.

Her question is therefore not simply Who hurt you?

It is:

Who do you need to forgive?

And perhaps even more importantly:

What are you still carrying that you no longer need to carry?

“All Is Well”

One of the most recognizable moments in the interview comes when Hay discusses what she recommends saying when a problem arises.

Her affirmation is:

“All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this experience, only good will come, and I am safe.”

The purpose, in her explanation, is not simply to repeat positive words mechanically. She believes the affirmation can quiet the mind long enough to create space for a different response to the problem.

That idea becomes especially interesting when the interviewer challenges her.

What about someone whose life genuinely isn’t going well? What about someone who doesn’t feel safe?

Hay’s answer is essentially that changing one’s repeated thoughts can gradually change one’s thinking and emotional atmosphere.

Whether or not someone accepts the metaphysical explanation behind her philosophy, there is a compelling psychological question underneath it:

What happens when we repeatedly tell ourselves the same story about our lives?

And what happens when we begin telling ourselves a different one?

Can We Change the Way We Experience Difficult Circumstances?

The interview becomes particularly powerful when the discussion moves beyond individual problems and into larger social realities.

The interviewer raises issues including race, gender, sexual orientation and poverty, pointing out that positive thinking cannot simply erase difficult circumstances.

Hay’s response is not that circumstances are imaginary. Instead, she returns to the idea of self-belief.

She argues that changing one’s belief about oneself can change the way one responds to the world—and, in her view, can ultimately change the way the world responds to that person.

This is one of the more controversial and thought-provoking aspects of her philosophy.

It is also why the conversation remains interesting decades later. It asks us to consider the boundary between changing our circumstances and changing our relationship with our circumstances.

Those are not necessarily the same thing.

“Use Your Mind for You Instead of Against You”

Hay also reflects on her own childhood and the negative beliefs she carried about herself.

She describes growing up with feelings of worthlessness and explains that learning to use her mind “for me instead of against me” made a significant difference.

That may be one of the simplest ways to understand the larger message of the interview.

The mind can become a source of constant criticism, fear and resentment. But it can also become a place where we deliberately cultivate gratitude, self-respect, forgiveness and hope.

The question is not whether negative thoughts will ever appear.

They will.

The question is which thoughts we repeatedly give our attention to.

A Message About Fear

The interview also takes place against the backdrop of a world experiencing war and political fear. Hay argues that although we cannot personally solve every problem happening in the world, we can pay attention to the mental world we create around ourselves.

Her approach is remarkably simple: become aware of fear, become aware of your thoughts, and deliberately cultivate a sense of safety and gratitude where possible.

This does not mean ignoring reality.

It means recognizing that there is a part of our experience that remains within our influence: the way we think, interpret, and respond.

Why This Conversation Still Matters

Louise Hay’s philosophy will not resonate with everyone, and some of her metaphysical claims are matters of personal belief rather than established scientific fact.

But this particular conversation raises questions that go beyond any one spiritual tradition:

• What beliefs do we carry about ourselves?
• How much of our inner dialogue is actually helpful?
• What resentment are we still carrying?
• Can forgiveness change our relationship with the past?
• How does fear influence the way we experience the present?
• What happens when we deliberately change the thoughts we repeat every day?

Perhaps the most powerful takeaway is not that we can simply think our way out of every problem.

It is that we should examine the mind through which we experience every problem.

Sometimes changing a situation begins with changing the way we see it. And sometimes, even when the situation cannot immediately change, changing our inner response can be the first step toward something different.

Watch the Full Video

If these ideas resonate with you—or challenge the way you think about your own beliefs, fears and experiences—watch the full Louise Hay interview below.

The interview was originally published by Hay House and features Louise Hay discussing affirmations, forgiveness, self-belief, fear, gratitude and personal transformation.